Post by RIVER KINDLE CARMICHAEL on Aug 23, 2014 16:43:26 GMT -6
[googlefont="Yanone Kaffeesatz:400"]
The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. I was never extraordinary, I still don't ever feel like I will be. I am hopelessly normal, as normal as someone who was passed off by her assumed parents, who eventually developed magical gifts. I didn't want to ask where these came from. I just - accept them, their part of the package, this terribly awkward and weird package that I have been built around. That my life continues to draw from, like it was some unspeakable energy. I didn't want to go because that meant leaving my sister, leaving her with our parents - as much as I can consider my parents, the ones who didn't abandon us. I knew I didn't have a choice, because there was a part of me that wanted to go, discover something new that was all my own, my own world just for myself. That something was my own, I was different I had a potential to being - extraordinary. I thought that I found my thing, the one thing that could be mine, but it wasn't that long before Willow developed magic as well. That I shared with her. I was disappointed, it's not just mine. That I would go off to Hogwarts and soon, she would follow too and I had to make it my own before she did.
Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them. Hogwarts was unexpected, scary - it was the first time I was alone. That I didn't have a shadow, my baby sister around with me. It was, a chance for me to find myself. I was sorted into Hufflepuff. I didn't know what it meant what it was going to do for me. Honestly I knew nothing about the expectations of Hogwarts and that was whats best. I heard whispers, from my assumed classmates, what houses they want to be in, it was like a clique, it was like they all wanted to be a part of a certain crowd, the arrogant pure with Slytherin, overly cocky - Gryffindor, brainy buddies - Ravenclaw, and there was very little whispers about the other - Hufflepuff. It was the house no one wanted to go into, because it felt - rejecting it was the house that was misunderstood and disliked, that there was something unknowing in that house. The one that was going to be my family. I always had a expectation of being - good at something but I struggle at it. I spent years trying to establish myself as a person to know while at Hogwarts, but it was all for naight, I didn't fit in, not well enough to make the best of friends and I suppose my standoffish personality didn't really make for great friends either. But I tried, I did what I could do, before my sister got there, so I could - show her, so I could become her teacher like I always did, she was always like a sponge and took to things well - and it was sort of not unexpected when she did the same for Hogwarts while I struggled, having to spend most if not all of my time studying just to ensure that I wasn't a failure, I wasn't going to fail the first thing that I had been given that was mine - for however brief.
Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live. My time at Hogwarts was constantly looming over my sister, watching as she excelled.It was safe that I was jealous. Here I had been here for years and I didn't take to it like breathing, like she did. My baby sister - while I was proud because she was good, it made me feel like I had been doing something wrong since getting there. That as soon as my sisters arrival happened, I retreated to new classes, to try and find something I could be good at too. I had been told time and time again I had a knack with working with the magical beasts we'd learn in Care of Magical Creatures, from Hippogriffs to a Unicorn, even got to eventually meet a baby dragon, which while others coward I was fascinated, but who wanted to spend a lifetime working with magical beasts when there were spells to learn and potions to brew. I spent the rest of my Hogwarts career playing that line, the one where I was trying to force myself to be something I wanted, instead of the thing that I knew I could be. I couldn't work at the Ministry as a Auror or work as a Unspeakable, I went to work in the department of magical creatures, in the disposal unit. I realize that sounded - morbid, that I love magical beasts and I 'dispose' of them, but sometimes I would take them away, take them somewhere they could be safe, to be cared for, where they wouldn't be neglected by their owners, like my own parents had done. I was going to help.
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. I've never been really great at emotions, in sharing them, but somehow I fell in love - I never expected it, it was the first year after leaving Hogwarts, I knew him from school, he was three years older and was on the Quidditch team, we spoke from time to time and there was always this smile on my face whenever I saw him, it was giddy and childish, something that I try to never be. He eventually went off to play for one of the professional Quidditch teams. Yet we found one another again when I graduated. It was quick, it was painless, we fell in love, we were engaged to be married, I was following the lives of others, there was a war going on and he was terrified, and he wanted to marry me, and I agreed, until I knew - it wasn't right, until I knew that this was just rushing into something that didn't feel right. So I left. I left him, I started to ignore him and insisted that he ignore me, that he leave me too. It was hard and scary. But marriage - marriage just for the sake of fear, wasn't for me. I'm not going to look for a replacement, or find someone to just lay around with in bed. Maybe I'll just become a crazy Kneazle lady. Its all out there for me, a whole world of things that could just be my own.
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RIVER K. CARMICHAEL
ASHY || CENTRAL || AIM: ADAMPIRO
[PTabbedContent][PTab=I]TWENTY THREE
NEUTRAL
MUGGLEBORN
HUFFLEPUFF
DISPOSAL OF DANGEROUS CREATURES
ROSE LESLIE
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My family is my strength and my weakness. There has never been anything more significantly relative to me than this, that my family has been my greatest asset and the worst piece of my life. My baby sister has been the world to me, the only part of my family that I allow myself to keep attached to. I was born to two parents, a mother and father that were supposed to be bonded to myself and my sister for life. They didn't, traded us off like we were expendable. Which maybe to a degree we were, where out lives weren't as meaningful as their lives and choices. It wasn't something that a young five year old girl was exactly prepared for. To be told to go to a neighbors home and inform them that they were your new parents and they looked as if they were hit by a train, because for all account and purposes they were, because they didn't expect a five year old girl and her sister to come walking and step onto their steps and tell them that they were parents, unexpected ones. Five years old and I was terrified, terrified because I didn't know what was going to happen with my sister, she was the one I cared about. I could take care of myself, I was five, I was superior on my knowledge on what I needed to do in my life. She was a baby, she needed attention, love not our parents to abandon us on a stoop because they had better things to do. Five years old, and I had to take on the responsibility of caring for my sister, that while I had a pair of adults who were supposed to become our people. They didn't know what they were doing. Neither of them knew what Willow's favorite color was, or what she liked to eat, I had to coddle them and teach them. That all the while I would tell my sister that everything would be okay, that I would take care of her because clearly no one else could. Our life regained stability, though I was always skeptical, that our parents would trade us off at the first sign of trouble. That we were trouble.The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. I was never extraordinary, I still don't ever feel like I will be. I am hopelessly normal, as normal as someone who was passed off by her assumed parents, who eventually developed magical gifts. I didn't want to ask where these came from. I just - accept them, their part of the package, this terribly awkward and weird package that I have been built around. That my life continues to draw from, like it was some unspeakable energy. I didn't want to go because that meant leaving my sister, leaving her with our parents - as much as I can consider my parents, the ones who didn't abandon us. I knew I didn't have a choice, because there was a part of me that wanted to go, discover something new that was all my own, my own world just for myself. That something was my own, I was different I had a potential to being - extraordinary. I thought that I found my thing, the one thing that could be mine, but it wasn't that long before Willow developed magic as well. That I shared with her. I was disappointed, it's not just mine. That I would go off to Hogwarts and soon, she would follow too and I had to make it my own before she did.
Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them. Hogwarts was unexpected, scary - it was the first time I was alone. That I didn't have a shadow, my baby sister around with me. It was, a chance for me to find myself. I was sorted into Hufflepuff. I didn't know what it meant what it was going to do for me. Honestly I knew nothing about the expectations of Hogwarts and that was whats best. I heard whispers, from my assumed classmates, what houses they want to be in, it was like a clique, it was like they all wanted to be a part of a certain crowd, the arrogant pure with Slytherin, overly cocky - Gryffindor, brainy buddies - Ravenclaw, and there was very little whispers about the other - Hufflepuff. It was the house no one wanted to go into, because it felt - rejecting it was the house that was misunderstood and disliked, that there was something unknowing in that house. The one that was going to be my family. I always had a expectation of being - good at something but I struggle at it. I spent years trying to establish myself as a person to know while at Hogwarts, but it was all for naight, I didn't fit in, not well enough to make the best of friends and I suppose my standoffish personality didn't really make for great friends either. But I tried, I did what I could do, before my sister got there, so I could - show her, so I could become her teacher like I always did, she was always like a sponge and took to things well - and it was sort of not unexpected when she did the same for Hogwarts while I struggled, having to spend most if not all of my time studying just to ensure that I wasn't a failure, I wasn't going to fail the first thing that I had been given that was mine - for however brief.
Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live. My time at Hogwarts was constantly looming over my sister, watching as she excelled.It was safe that I was jealous. Here I had been here for years and I didn't take to it like breathing, like she did. My baby sister - while I was proud because she was good, it made me feel like I had been doing something wrong since getting there. That as soon as my sisters arrival happened, I retreated to new classes, to try and find something I could be good at too. I had been told time and time again I had a knack with working with the magical beasts we'd learn in Care of Magical Creatures, from Hippogriffs to a Unicorn, even got to eventually meet a baby dragon, which while others coward I was fascinated, but who wanted to spend a lifetime working with magical beasts when there were spells to learn and potions to brew. I spent the rest of my Hogwarts career playing that line, the one where I was trying to force myself to be something I wanted, instead of the thing that I knew I could be. I couldn't work at the Ministry as a Auror or work as a Unspeakable, I went to work in the department of magical creatures, in the disposal unit. I realize that sounded - morbid, that I love magical beasts and I 'dispose' of them, but sometimes I would take them away, take them somewhere they could be safe, to be cared for, where they wouldn't be neglected by their owners, like my own parents had done. I was going to help.
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. I've never been really great at emotions, in sharing them, but somehow I fell in love - I never expected it, it was the first year after leaving Hogwarts, I knew him from school, he was three years older and was on the Quidditch team, we spoke from time to time and there was always this smile on my face whenever I saw him, it was giddy and childish, something that I try to never be. He eventually went off to play for one of the professional Quidditch teams. Yet we found one another again when I graduated. It was quick, it was painless, we fell in love, we were engaged to be married, I was following the lives of others, there was a war going on and he was terrified, and he wanted to marry me, and I agreed, until I knew - it wasn't right, until I knew that this was just rushing into something that didn't feel right. So I left. I left him, I started to ignore him and insisted that he ignore me, that he leave me too. It was hard and scary. But marriage - marriage just for the sake of fear, wasn't for me. I'm not going to look for a replacement, or find someone to just lay around with in bed. Maybe I'll just become a crazy Kneazle lady. Its all out there for me, a whole world of things that could just be my own.
